I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.